Jerri Lynn Sparks speaks about her personal Domestic Violence story

Friday, January 12th

00:15:56

Domestic violence survivor, Churchville Chili Firefighter, Marketing Communications Manager at Badge of Honor Assoc Jerri Lynn Sparks told her emotional real life story of how she escaped a dangerous marriage.

The Coalition for Crime Victims of Monroe County
Illuminate the Night

April 11 2018 from 6-8pm at the Rochester Public Library

In recognition of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week, the Coalition will be honoring crime victims and survivors. The 2018 event will consist of a candlelight vigil accompanied by an art exhibit. The art work displayed will be pieces created by victims, survivors or others who has been impacted by crime in our area.

Artwork submissions are currently being accepted and welcomed

for more details: on Facebook under “Coalition for Crime Victims of Monroe County” or email  at [email protected]

 

 

 

 

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Well welcome to neighbors in need and see any writers and in the studio with me today at a very special woman in inspirational motivational Jerry Lynn in sparks how Mario I'm getting married dressing room Jerry Lynn a domestic violence survivor. Church filled stylized firefighter. And marketing communications manager at badge of honor association. Theories sending very big coming up and watch it put this in your phone first let's get that raid that set the date the week. It's national crime victims' rights week. And it's April 8 through the thirteenth national crime victims' rights week April 8 through thirteenth so put it in your primary to tell you. On the exciting things that are happening that week in downtown Rochester and how you can be a part of it. But the reason why eight we invited Jerry in. Is because your story and it's been featured on the news you probably hear the name Jerry Linspire senior like that sounds so familiar you're story is so moving. He and inspiration on how you fought through. A domestic violence situation and you got out of that do you mind sharing this story once more with us. I don't mind at all I think every time I Talladega helps on removes some of it from me and I'm Regis somebody out there that may be feels alone. And I remove some of the stigma so I actually don't mind me six years this coming July so there's now a lot of wonderful things have happened to me in that time. I went through PT EST I counseling for that you know so wonderful people over the willow domestic violence center helped me to get there. Actually didn't start speaking out about this until I last year so five earmark is when I started to arm and the first thing I did to speak out was. Honoring the country nine sheriff's deputies at the Monroe county sheriff's office that help me and that kind of jump started everything else that we'll talk. About two and now your new mission is to help. Anybody that's willing to listen just even that one person one person is listening today and here's your story in how you overcame in survived it. Then you say age. One more life you know so what happened to me I think it was kind of unexpected areas have lunch with a friend Alia George yesterday I sang to her. I don't think people would look at me and think domestic violence Barbara I think that's actually the power of it can happen to anybody a man or woman whose children. In the echelons of society any social economic class. I was married to an Ivy League educated doctor you became progressively. Mentally ill and hooked on and on drugs and how come on I didn't know it. Instant. So we just started the relationship. There were no sign was my best friends enough so I really was so difficult about the way things unravel the last year of our twenty year marriage. He was a minister son and I guidance counselor an artist's son. I'm concerned and very I'm fine upstanding New England families you know Summers on Cape Cod the whole you know picture perfect dream and I'm here and London some economic stress her started leading him to self medicate and I'd be asleep at night and he would do it so I didn't know what was going on here is a very good dad. Compartmentalizing his life. And until he wants a good and it's so last year for marriage serves a lot of yelling but there's nothing I can do there's nothing actionable on. Because of some in jelling that you and many don't tell law enforcement officer hey my husband yelling at me continuing and no way and I'd talked to him about divorce for a number of years for the last eight years of her marriage I wanted an amicable divorce and he would always say. If you don't force me out take the kids and the house band he's from a wealthy family and I knew he had the means to do that so I was very slowly. Trying to find a way out peacefully. And I didn't have enough money to do it. There was a congressional Press Secretary in the my boss Eric Massa resigned suddenly I lost my economic means to do it. Some people say to women or men and entering and then I demands amount situation my do you stay number one reason usually money. I didn't have money or they don't want no loss of the full time with their children. Those are very important. And powerful things I was threats I must have because I was in love with him and some people do think stay because they want I absolutely was not in love with him I just wanted to. To be able to financially afford my knee children and not have done with this person I deemed unfit to be a father around them half the time. I was trying to find a way to get out. On cleaned and I couldn't I couldn't do that on Knight and the things that happened on July 4 and July 5 2012. Sweden. Yeah actually asked me for sacks and I said no you know we're not getting along and out of I have to work in the morning I'm really don't wanna talk about this right now. He had been horrible to me for a year and I was like no I'm not going to have sex with here and it you enraged him. And he said to me you better watch it that was Tim thirty and July 4 and I locked the door and gestured I moved out of marital bedroom months earlier. And I like against him door half glass half went. And I went to sleep thinking I was going to work in the morning. And then. Later about 2 o'clock in the morning he tried to you know beat down the door and unbeknownst to me he had taken bath salts. End basically said that on several of his friends told him I was a woman and no alarms me are I was a man and so I knew he was having hallucinations and I couldn't get out the rooms endorse an old house have lived and worked. Sealed shut eye can get out. So this went on for several hours until he finally broke down the door on and punch me in the face and took meantime Mostar and hit me over the top of the head and compressed. Wind pumps cervical seek foreign C five that it was and is a lot more happened that I am this attempted rape twice during that attack. This face down at one point losing consciousness. We came to. I had money presence of mind just (%expletive) him off me and run out the door every and next door to neighbors underbrush Stanley. Mean Greg karma is a few doors down he's a church Phil arms are fried green is the chief in neat twist pas I once the owner county sheriff's officers. Risking my sense and that high speed police chase that they had gotten them Bob Murphy of the mineral county sheriff's office was able to act. Pulled the car door and get my voice away with 29 other officers looking for my ax at the time. Didn't Craig came and Christa Soweto safe house to car belongings about seven trips back and forth and like 3:4 o'clock in the morning. Give us their and in over the two years after dance on the derby court dates and he would have to be you know brought him from jail or California where he was living at time. I would be terrified because I am PT SD intended to children I'm so armed. Sheriff's deputies such as Jason only October I would come by at 2 in the morning and shine a spotlight so. We can see it on the walls of the house and know that we're okay someone's out they're watching out for us. So some deputies would come into the house at 3 in the morning and shine flashlights and go by room by room by room and so. The gratitude I feel for a grant and and Jason and Bob and all the other officers Mary Delilah. Is. Hard to you our quantify it's really. You can really campaign and a number are feeling who has just a part of who I am now my children than we've got to me are heroes this past summer. And it didn't jump started me to think about. Hello how else can I show gratitude what else can I do. And that's from Mary on the luck ash is my victim's advocate at the MC ISO invited me to join team Monroe County crime victims coalition. I started that in November here in the latest career. An awesome story in the fact added the people. That saved you and tell you where. Intern doing that for other women in I'm glad they Euro okay the family's okay these kids aero right angry they're doing great. They are and they really support meaning a firefighter I joined grange and Jason and becoming firefighters sent us an awesome. To be able to do that my kids if they think it's awesome last Saturday in this past week I ran out of the house and senate okay mom's got a fire call to go to the boys are so used to it now Maceo. And mom love you don't know I I'll. And then I got to go into that the foreign ninety and helped push a car over that it turned over on this side. And pry open a head and there's an adrenaline rush but you're also that your you know there's a tangible feeling that I've done something to help somebody today. The firefighting was very healing for me to be able to physically impact yes it's really awesome feeling and there an amazing first responders there. How old are the kids now on Angelina be fifteen next month and grant to seventeen you'll be eighteen in October. My daughter is going to be nineteen in November and my son with autism wasn't a group from east we need three more years until I have an empty nest has got in my car. Virus and so yeah. I got the isn't afraid. OK so now let's move it into. How are you are helping as well with the national crime's victim's rights week in men is April 8 to the thirteenth. So being part of the magic runner association and working closely with national crime victims' group what can we. Expect what should we know about this day. OK so I'm one of the things that were done in Monroe County there's a coalition that meets once a month I'm for partnering with the FB IA and RPD. On the DA's office and lots says that nonprofits around lifes and things like that that help on people once they've been a victim of crime our survivor of crimes to say. And to give them places they feel connected. We will also wanted to give them away to express themselves I read poetry that's one of those things has helped me heal and so we thought. Perhaps I am an art show so what we're doing on April 11 is having an art show and I'm from 6:8 PM at the downtown library. I can't and anybody can submit our work out poems. Essays photos sculpture if you know anything that you know they consider art they're not to be a crime victim can dispute the theme of that. And I were taking submissions until March 1. And the gonna highlight that I'm around the media there have a couple of speakers one from the Willa domestic violence sinner. You talk about what we're trying to do in honoring the victims. Both those censor writing didn't survive. So I. The gravity of the situation crime is very common. And also that there's hope for those who you know I'm survived. When you feel like there is no hope there is indeed there's been times in my life when I felt like there was some hope from now on a very positive place in my life but the first. The first two years are incredibly hard and I did feel ashamed and alone and I didn't talk much about it. Picks which is split it to be re common feeling yes so you are far from being alone. Now you can actually amazing to me on the number of new and you've not been taught me that they are. You know domestic violence are still they have more to stick my guess speaking on the women do about it and I'm a mother of three sons some very. Attuned to that so I I did take a long time to come embrace the fact that you what I survived this India. Speaking out is not something I'm ashamed of I didn't cause this to happen to me I didn't Wear something revealing I didn't do something awful. Here's the stigma in society that you know somehow we had it coming or we did something wrong. This behavior center of violent belongs solely to the perpetrators can we do as a community. Sometimes a lot of people. Have that gut feel. Of something going on in a neighbor's home or a friend who. What can we do. That's a great question I thought about it a lot and I'm my next door neighbors. We're afraid of him I don't fault him for not calling the police because he did a very good job of scaring everyone. There is. People coming to me after the taxing and wish I can't and I'm really thin man that killed passing mark would you have done how he's yelling inherent it's actually not a crime to yell at someone. Menacing it's hard to prove was a statement that Munro punish or Stephanie I saw on a coffee shop since Meehan. It was probably not the best advice and they have better training now but at the time I really agreed there was not a whole lot I could say. But I thought about it now someone could have made a cult of the other record that there's something going on top. When I call my lawyer seeking divorce he says has taken a pattern of not one house there hadn't been. I think someone calling anonymously could've probably helped me I didn't win Lehman had to have known about it but having. People in mind assailants then it documentation. And the other thing they can do privately in a safe place is to say to them. I know what's going on with you I'm here for you. My house was open to you or whatever you need Allah help you okay and the other thing is spreading the awareness about groups like resolve and the will of domestic balancing or both groups I never. Her of until this happened to me I'd never heard you never thought you needed no Arabs right no one ever thinks I need didn't really need it I'm so I think. I mean my biggest. Mission has been to just get the word out pair of almost gaps between you and I are out there welcome Allen Hughes thing. What you're doing back from running on the radio is actually saving lives you may not think that you are because now that word willow was in someone's hand. And they can look it up and get help they need it. Hopefully willow and resolve the right become just common names that everybody is familiar household and first responders to what I'm doing with resolve an Alley O'Malley is we're going around in training our first responders an area fire departments to get them to recognize calls. As domestic violence related because often the first time an incident gets slugged in the sheriff's office this kind of made the 91 call or fire calls. As often have a domestic violence elements of returning to get the fire department EMTs to start seeing these causes potentially. And domestic bouncer it or crime related to any type of not just domestic violence so. April seems so far out flat. It seems like a god when is it can get here with the weather right April 8 through the thirteenth it is national crime victims' rights week in that the reason why. Jerry Lynn is in today talking about it. To share her story and to help. It doesn't regret to get some submissions does now is the time and will bring you back when he gets closer to the events we can make sure we do have them. It's scheduled in our calendars but now's the time to submit the artworks amid the poetry which by the way congratulations. On your next book you already have a beautiful poetry but which. Where should we find out but I. Amazon I can get things about the rain and other poems I came out and August of last year have been doing readings pounds so it's available on Amazon. Wonder if yes I do have another big coming out. I really. Working hard to get it done and as the true story of what happened to me on something I wanted to do and didn't think you know anybody would be interested in handing. Small publisher is interested and I am. The impetus for me was to get the story out of me he was cathartic. But also again tennis but someone maybe can get up and realized and. I'm loaned him. I and face spoke. Coalition for crime victims of Monroe County you can search that we chatted and Sam definitely be a part of the night the coalition for crime victims of Munro Connie. Invite you to illuminate the night. An April 11 thank you so much Jerry land for sharing your story with us for everything that you do and exam for being an inspiration to all of us thank you for having me as my pleasure.
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