Couples and money: When one is a spender and one is a saver

Friday, October 6th

00:29:02

Are you and your spouse on the complete opposite ends of the saving spectrum?
We're going to help you motivate the spender in the relationship to save more.

Plus, we'll give you helpful apps to check out and ideas on how to make some extra money.

This week we cash in with financial expert, host of the Stacking Benjamins podcast Joe Saul-Sehy


https://www.stackingbenjamins.com/

 

Thanks to our friends at Family First Credit Union for supporting the $even Figure$ podcast!  
When it comes to financial education, earning and learning go hand-and-hand, and Family First is here to help you and the Greater Rochester community with both! 

https://home.familyfirstny.com

 

 

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

It's Friday we made age. Big is so much there be any areas seven or eight years this thing is that this is Larry dominate their finances could you worked hard this week. You've been allotted time a lot of effort. Don't work for your boss to work for the man. And now on the money that we earn your pay Jack let's make it work for you sound. This is what we do and a seven figures podcast we army with the knowledge that you need to make their money work for him. Today's a good line. So Lindsay emailed me a little bit of Al Sandia register but dot com and she was asking me how to motivate your husband here are my husband's a spender and I'm a saver and how do we come together we're both unmarried complete opposite ends of the savings spectrum how to live pulled him in closer. And I thought that was really interesting because we have all been there or earth. Are dealing with something like that right now so I invite Lindsay to come on the show with fast but before we get Lindsay out and I gotta say big thank you two are good friends and family first credit union for sponsoring this podcast. Stanley first from personal banking to business services and home loans they're number one priority is finding a solution that works for you locally so good people there. As Stanley first. And we got to cash in with our experts right now Joseph sole C hi I've been listening to his stacking Benjamin's podcast for some time now very Smart guy. A former financial planner. On his podcasts ahead Zell won several accolades so it must be guide stacking Benjamin's I guess welcome to the shell. Did he act simply got here I really out. This is that the Israel the real deal right here. It's all right we PO I ideally we should get radian to add and we bring up Lindsey Lindsey Jo-Jo Lynn saint. I don't cardiac. Eight let me. Lindsay in your email you admitted that you and your husband are complete opposite ends of the savings back chairman now you're out you're desperate for some how. Can't believe opposite. So my husband Kregg I. When we first started eating it and spend and hair out while adding there are being volatile what are. Now. We have cute kid. And I want to actually feed my knee hampering the rescue her and he is ill in that. How it's mood don't care. You know not be contributing who is 401K app makes it bigger so he can and the money by. You know retirement talk to he just figured out you know he could save some money and we don't have college loans or else. So. I don't really know I really don't know what they'll. She's not alone message out you probably had a lot of client gives you were at financial planner before you started your podcast right. I was that he years he will delete and alone you don't indeed it is frustrating. When you have but he did you are absolutely madly in love is except for the way this is what it is that it opened Monday. And I think. I think that the computer Craig has the veto a lot of people haven't that they can eat in front of their the COLT up like you do today. But they can yet he's the locker. And the bad part for you would be is that I'm sure you feel like a portal mad. When you tuchman about you know future of all those. We need to paid for in an open door literally net yet nobody went in that position. I think what I what what I would do is sit at one poll question which it may make those long term goals more realistic. Start off where. You know what college we think we want that they can go to beat it wanna go to. And start our conversation first don't talk about the money talk about the college and make college degree. And then retirement you know what if he went that he wanted to make it figures now what development of but later time. He he might not wanna work so hard to what they used that wouldn't be wanna try to do that and then the what is that going to cost. There's to replicate that like how would you want later that's requested and on I think once once you're able to make that the real income. They're okay because I want to go to be you know whatever. And why you let. What did it might cost. And then how much it when working with our statement today how much what we have to say today just hypothetically how much we have to let fate. Could he be getting on that conversation. And when you look at what am I you caught that I'm laughing because this is this as well. Correct get has has a real problem when you see that number. And I almost said with a department has what we're going to be other. I can't. Chris I have a problem is there. And witty and that number even start today. What that number pot and then I think that that kind of at the wake up call I think I don't think you have to pick aircraft I think that no boot if you can get correct view. The dream about the future. And then figure out there what that number is. I think that it could it. Do you think some did Lindsay is just he's intimidate a lot of people are intimidated by money. They're overwhelmed with their own loans right did you say do you still have college loans when Duncan always has just. Have extensive knowledge and. I really think he's been in denial I think denial as right where her what he is right now and that it did that hour. He doesn't want at this you don't look at the numbers 'cause I think like you said it will scare. If people who have no financial planner my even now I try to be very kind people would tell me it was like guys going to the dentist. That they love their debit that they have that they don't feel better after but I didn't actually ended that there is not pretty enough on. Absolutely I think that is exactly. That problem right now and what can I. So what if the numbers don't scare him. Wouldn't put it like well I think you know his all they can take out loans. They could think about. Is laying. How do you sit down your significant other in the pain in the butt and crunch numbers are really looking your budget because that's for you really need to start is meant. Much MoneyGram really have. I need to keep query and then here somehow after I wanna play what I like. They have an appointment that day that might not Cheryl and I do yeah we have a week we have a weekly meeting we make it I'm currently. He did again on their familiar with him and what he knew that when they were little. We had this we have the meeting over wine on a Sunday afternoon when they were particular week and was always kind of are. Our afternoon why we've been intimate look at the body together. Now that you are long gone so we go to that place Andrea never heard our own international how to do it I guess. I don't know if you're familiar that play the national hot Democrat lite which is crazy girl all the we go there but this morning and that and we pick up the app you like that apple clearly money. Which very quickly go over your money and and and and how you're doing. And we take a look at current money and always do and then the minute it is it is long and it boring cracked not gonna wanna be there I think I'd write about it wanna be there. So we're putting over communicate and we say number one what do we have coming up next week. Number do what money came in this week at number three others are stating what if we get any in a statement in from our. For once a year or for many saying that we got note and then let's talk a little. That's sparked a little like what's coming up the next six months next year old Cheryl and I example and to trip you're really. And so we don't putting money aside for that trip to Germany a couple of weeks ago that we can make that no cash trap but it cut it on and I big pancake. I pulled them all and what that you've beaten it yet don't you hadn't kept it. Well look it up up up up up. It's clear any money app is Jeffrey. And only 30 can only and perhaps he I know that it. You know approaching it like you eighties clarity perfect and what I love. It's created by the guy Adam well. And now I am companies and if that let me sounds familiar he is the brother of Michael bell isle and he just real entrepreneur that they really Iraq I really like thirty money I'm not affiliate the company I do it. Okay so it just makes it easier to track where where all your money's gone. It you very quickly put him where all the action came as your public advocate and supermarket let me. Here's how much to your how much you're now but you're really current equipment are like an even. Like you you have audible you have pollute you have these other recurring monthly expenses would you like to implicate them you can press the button and they will be important for you. Oh okay. -- decent start there I need to write this out I need to write out what isn't that call and it can't clear the money. Clarity and money. And I thought that India agree get people. Is is that that he would that some of these poor new finance that they yen started to come out what can I think this other until after I come to patent it but I do get. Yeah. It yourself. If the cool uncle that we felt that I liked. If you guys in Chicago might land is it one of the founders name and what they've done it you know how would you go to and I thought he'd sit in order we are eager to boot yeah well. How come when you actually go run five miles you don't have yourself or you actually clean up the can connect it are you don't appear now they'll. It's it's fun but I don't think I'm eating something you think is a good job for yourself. If you're hopeful that that it goes that your car with that separate savings account and it it yourself. And then that money available or you don't become holiday fun to become a vacation fund whatever he wanted to be. Okay and then every three to. That's free to protect. RA and those of your labor. I mean seventy huh well. All we talk about ads that are free don't give me an eating red snapper but it and this is just to help those who struggle with the discipline of setting money aside this just tops automated a little bit more. Eight well I don't know what yeah I don't have to put up do you. In L talking to people that are multi millionaires off than me in all eight. Bet do what I've found is that multi millionaires not just the people what they are people who are Smart enough. That we may identify some that really good that they did yeah they automated that they never have been blocked again and it. We met a good thing over and over Spartak invited app. I parred that that helped me do that they cool thing over and over again I'll never have to worry about it again and I make it more money than I was yesterday. OK perfect. Thank you so much Lindsey and not that helped. Oh my god it does that I think I am I actually go that some pancakes or alcohol to make that critical. I. Enjoy your weekend Lindy. Thank you so much that they you don't really pay it back at it like to have that are with. My husband I thought they get they are ready to make that make it fun when it would be great. October thank you so much bigger enterprise. I eight RI so when you said make it fun we know what you're thinking and women are thinking just you know put a smile on your face it your intent announced our Jim. Who went. Up up up at. So you did it is a common problem is always typically in a relationship ones the spender ones the sabres. Yes and are you well. It was a matter what the paper or one person look at the long term but seriously and the other one looks at the short term one person knows everything about Batman knows nothing about the project and the other per note where every dollar going the other person at the fantasy land. So so yeah I don't have people that hate. They take either one or the other one per abdicate the other person. The key is with that meeting I think in a line by line budget people talk about budget that Illinois. I would be really really think it's about communication. Just if if you're in a relationship that you can talk to. You're out significant other your rant about your money. And do it panic in the basement you'll avoid the big why the hell with you that money on that. Oh yeah. Again I think everybody has been there hear your comment from. Two different backgrounds were growing up and that's where you start to build your relationship with money. And then you meet and I initials in GL is one so my husband was the spender. He had no real foundation and his parents. You know didn't make the best choices when it came to money IQ and a very strict like OK here's how much money you have and here's how much you're gonna say when year's amateur gonna spend. So he was the spender and I sit here here's a solution we're gonna have our separate accounts. And the joint account. Eighteen depleted his account. Any skin to borrow from many a man up Harry so is it got to work. And I think it wasn't until the day we said what is our goal like you suggested to Lindsay what is Jeff final goal. We're both gonna try to achieve. That day was the turning point. I think that the turning point for everybody and by the way we everybody. Who's written note you must have grown up in a very strict. Eddie pitching coach. I don't think there's that it hurt the most he doesn't know that. Sleep next my dad's got a guest on the podcast. He's yes he's got his name is guy. He's the he's that he's definitely the money guy is what yet. We're learn from an actor and yes he just loves I mean did joy on his face when he talks about money. It's it's amazing. He backed that long term goal they've been talking about it is. It is still important make that real because everybody can identify with that in front of them now I'm a spender and I know what I want today and our. A friend of mine probably are lose your brain might look into brain knows what it up right now I want booed I want good food and Butler restaurant I want you but thought have to make the long term goals the only real. Like restrict legitimate either we are talking about that I'm going we had such Cheryl. You know I'm a Mac debate anybody that looked like go look at the guidebook I see the places I wanna go. And I think about half on that going to be want to have that image in my head. Now based yum often they've now I am they've been that much money as possible. Yeah motivation we all need it. Yeah Clinton speaking of that just making extracting content it'd it's a hot topic now side hustles you hear that you see that everywhere just last weekend GMA I saw him do a whole piece on side hustle. Do you now this might be. Perfect question for you because you moved from being a financial planner. To know they tell you do right is is run a successful podcast. We park guest Monday Wednesday Friday that it what I do. OK awesome no. Was set aside hustle for awhile and then you said hey this is making so much money to seems to be profitable this is where mine joy a really comes from let me just. Put all my energy Shearer how'd that happen. No for me it was different I sold my business and I had become a schoolteacher. I hope there is if you can become a school teacher I would think I would become a schoolteacher and I was bored out of my mind off in school and I. I started writing. Part time but that would decide what the but I was doing it because those board but I won't say. But a lot of people. A lot of people the best way if you don't like your job to decide what that new job in a B to replace it it didn't it make you decide postal. You can kind of dip your toe in the water and also not going to debt starting. This you know this business can a lot of people go into a lot of debt they quit their job and they realize complete that this wasn't a viable opportunity. Yeah okay there's side muscles you would suggest. Lincoln mystery shoppers at a scam the whole mystery shopper thing feels to me not really. Well I have upper and actually actually does that state is stopping you get called a few times a week ago. Drive over to his door and check out the customer service. You know that's okay I'm really like it are you in the I I love this idea of the sharing economy. That people talk about that really coming so you have. If you have they're better than your house. You know the ideas sometimes and having strangers in your house you're creeping in but if you can get around that or you have the room is that the money people make it. And European B is fantastic. If you're a community where Hooper of the list are an opportunity. I have talked to a lot of listeners knew that the corporation concluded on or turn it off. Whatever you want you make that money you'd generally need them really nice people. So I like those people that do. Kept hitting it like pat. Picking her people's health is when they're not home. I think those are some some nice opportunities to make money over the short term. In the NF crazy concept I remember when I first heard rumblings and I am not getting into some stranger's car gripped the freedom we heard the in like this is the coolest thing or that I upped. I know what you want here are there any minute everybody every over driver and I don't do it that often but everyone that I've been in base stayed the same thing on just doing this for golf money or I'll just remind hobby. Just sitting down to the low side money. And here's the thing is it if it is desperate side money those are great opportunities where I'll draw the line on though it. You're never gonna build a business will win Cooper so. You know if you're somebody that light photography is an example building of photography you yell at the site hopeful but it is time is a great way to build that business. And that can become a full time that the later Hoover is despite hopeful that fantastic. If he does need to gulf money that you talking about maybe chaotic credit card. They get out here and you know the big bump in short term so I would I would I would ask yourself. By your side but will that I'm I want long term development who pulled an opportunity. In this company take care of a short term issue. A packed. And Jones quit your day job until you know it is success well. And I could be you know people tell me that their bet they'll note that investment didn't show up and they don't realize it is thirty big quit my day. Well. America that the third patent. It's also a mind set sail. Ed is it re occurring thing that comes up on these podcast with every gas that we have an everybody says the same thing would you agree that you have to go into it. With the right mental mindset. Overall theme success comes with the right mind sat. I do think though as if so I think a couple things. Number one I read the article recently that says. What people think differently. And wanted to. And they would agree that the one that I've seen over and over in. What people expect to be wealthy they walked into the room and he talked about buying that can't hit it be it's that they deserve it. And it's funny cadet who kind of Pollyanna. Like oh yeah I just wave a magic line and it definitely isn't Peyton. But the bad bad is the beginning that you know that I deserve. I deserve well. In my life and if I think I deserved it then my subconscious brain start working out ways you think that happened but the place that I did agree. With a lot of people when it comes to mind that is what you and I talked about briefly earlier which people a lot of people think its mind at discipline and I don't picket discipline at all. I think recognize. Every time you do something brilliant which in my life is like when the decade when I don't tighten their brilliant thing. That have the wherewithal the top and how to light automate that. So I do that brilliantly again and again and again I don't have to stumble across that next time. Bet that's what rich people do and and I think with app. And the automation give people predictable one little example of something that then I realized which was about the financial planner. People would be would have trouble. Maybe money because they trek deposited their checking account and that you know paper department sided album speak on Saturday night. Know him better that if you district department would they do account. In due course the amount of money you many from the amount of money you ban so in your head you don't they want to make acts which we intend to spend attic. Instead you say how much buddy when he beat people like and that's going to be different a lot of money that you might. So now you direct deposit with savings account that hard to get cute and then set up an automatic. Grant her over to a checking account the amount of money need to keep the weight. Guess what happened we put that in these people started automatically made money that they can count I can't. Because they had you know money just that there yeah yeah what what what a great way to automate. Is it that you wouldn't be where it. Yeah well okay fill the CIA would. I would count that as discipline discipline to ignore that account. Tube not didn't hear it you know it lets your money overt and sit pretend you don't even have it. Forget about it right. So woefully that we did there because I don't have any discipline. But it is so I would say that I have that discipline that package to help me but I think I think for a guy like me you know I devastating account hard to get here. I doubt that debit card. Make it maybe if they get caught out. They can have admitted though that if you he wanted out of that separate stated out it's gonna get he's been asked to get it and it bet it's a it's really an emergency you'll go gather but they're not in numbers and be your apparent to break his amazing. And I missed so many times where somebody. It's been a tough spot and they don't have actually available would make it you can just make the decision out of character for that that the deal. If if we can avoid bad. Then I think we we do better I didn't like it is an example there's a family I was working with went out the financial planner if we're keeping credit card debt. And they made the decision. During the holidays this year. They were going to set of very small amount of money I'd heard of their it. And then nothing else nobody that can get and then we're going to put 1500 dollar a year Christmas time to a 200 dollar commitment to. Oh whoa whoa whoa yeah. That kid's college so devastation. You know it's funny that make up for that make up for that rock been. That this couple. Maybe 88 in bed substituted things. As they go to church that they went is more true up. They went to more community that was what you write the Christmas light they went all the things they look in the paper would be the activity. When we met again in January they talked about how all that what. And because they say they're sub conscious mind that I that we. I would make is that we think we're actually happening and yeah holiday it that a woman is not. Well lit another running theme it's not just the material things it's more of the moments the memories that we yet and that we may give the family so yeah. Let's talk about just a little tease to your course if you go on stacking Benjamin's dot com how to legally cheap. On your taxes suck but I grabbed my attention. I think totally screwed up my taxes last year. I don't know still continue give us a few tips and then if you wanna find out more eking go to US stacking Benjamin stack come. There is the frustrating thing that the diet with my own life was that because I had I tech troubles early in my career that I talked about a lot elsewhere. I didn't understand a tax is worked. And I a buddy that dealt with me. And in the course of a couple of hours went through like taxes line by line like how how that tax form to actually set up. I want to know how the past form that up. Then during the whole year. You're you're creating opportunities for yourself but if you go oh yeah if I do it this way. I will then create up to you Michael later so it as an example. I play or game I'm gonna give them board game that has never get played it I've had him for years I have stacked it in your neck united in our basement. That are gonna go to goodwill and I think of goodwill because a lot of people itemize their taxes. Goodwill in that charitable organization and I mean get two feet. That I can then use April if he and the problem is. If I can you that would be for the rest of the year but on April 15 is too late night I had to do it. I had to do with that during the two calendar year so if I'm putting my entire eight. I might be able to deduct that where does that go. We talked about peddled if I'm giving money to charity. If I'm a teacher I had an opportunity when I'm setting up my classroom were un reimbursed expend it if I have a mortgage. How does that work is five and if I'm paying for health care like so many people. Have put on a health care costs now. My people might be able to deduct that but really what we do we get the that they are entitled how to cheat on your back is what we're really doing is showing you ability. In simple cartoon in terms of how that other practical work. So that it that all year long your booking or what what my next opportunity and I feel like you're it. If you like your treatment because you're thinking of isn't all the opportunity that your neighbors not to they don't get it. Well allotted them it's find my husband and I decided to do wood on our own 91 of those online programs. I never knew what questions to ask my tax person I was since your firm has really. You know they're really worth the money so we're like let's do this on our own. Just in at least get an idea of what it takes to do all my data I forgot a form and that was a very important Foreman I security not that I was in panic I had like authorities before the others think. Walking into H&R block like please help me just Stuart out I don't know for. Oh my god that it's ghosts theory when you're dealing with the government. There's nothing more. Would that make my heart beat faster and open up my mailbox there's an official looking letter that there's -- dad's right. I haven't even opened it now Mike now. And now yeah yeah I don't. I don't wanna get that letter I will valued they've been put that out if you're good at. The ire act that now that they're so that they can be not so much bite people but whenever I have a really. Big question I called Ira and they're lying are are. Infamous for taking forever what you call first thing in the morning and become slightly open and you talked Irish people are going in the I hear people but it didn't sound like heresy and people are gonna yell at their listening device right now but you're on a they can never totally off the iPad summit about most respective nice that people. I'm not IRS help line help need help clients with their situation. Just wonderful so even though they're. Older and we're breaking them yeah you have a real question of higher out and do it first thing in the morning so you don't spend all day. I'm Aaron Lander found Cho thank you so much for all your help today. Eddie that the. Fantastic thanks so much for having me. Joseph sell CIA. Practice that day they re no. You guys had apparently been married I've does that I was listening to a new announced it out to digest slow motion nightmare when it's great job. Second Benjamin podcast on Twitter at average Joseph Bonnie thanks jab. Vague. There's a lot of good and bad financial advice out there. We'll clean up all the confusion next week as Joseph put it we're going to learn from the master. My dad is back on the show next week Father Knows Best what is the real good honest advice that you should follow when it comes to money next week. Seven figures thank you so much are telling us on Twitter at seven figures Todd and senior ladders and EA reach out to me any time Sandia register does dot com. Think faced our friends at Stanley first credit union have a great weekend dominate your finances. Taxes next week.
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