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Mike Danger

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Guest Blogger Friday-Art and Vaginas!

Look, I'm no professional blogger.  There are plenty of Rochesterians who do this a hell of a lot better than I do.  Add to it that I'm inherently lazy, and Guest Blogger Friday is a can't miss.  Want in? The calendar's filling up fast! E-mail me Danger@rochesterbuzz.com or hit me up on Twitter anytime.

I'm a big fan of local site DragonFlyEye.net. Tom Belknap is in the upper echelon of listeners and was an easy choice as our inagural Guest Blogger.   Make sure you tell him how great he is and follow him on Twitter.

Could it possibly get worse? I’m thinking “Arby’s”

Honestly, we all have our character flaws. For example, I care too much. But even with our dark secrets, I think we can all agree that art is meant to be appreciated by the masses and that hiding the light of true genius under the bushel of your own selfishness is just plain wrong.

Which is why I am truly disappointed by Connie Sumlin and Gail Johnson of Johnson City, TN. While visiting one of the state’s greatest art galleries, the foyer of their local Arby’s, these two degenerates decided that the art that had been bestowed upon the community during a recent renovation should be better-viewed in the comfort of their own ivory mansions. Fortunately for the Arts at large, the two were apprehended after surveillance video identified them and their ill-gotten booty. They are currently being charged with a genuinely-astonishing $1200 in stolen property.

I'm thinking 'Snooki'

And speaking of improperly-located art work, ladies: lets talk about your vagina. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan. They’re delightful. But vaginal accoutrement tends to be one of those topics upon which my preferences trend towards the minimalist. Less is more on all counts.

So I am bemused by my newest discovery, a kind of vaginal augmentation they’re calling the Vajazzle. There is, apparently, even a site dedicated to rating said Vajazzles.

“How,” you ask, “could you possibly have missed this new trend?” Well, I’ll tell you a secret: I’m a dude. And ladies, your dude does not need sharp plastic rhinestones stuck to your vag with glue, as evidence by the fact that I’ve not seen a single Vajazzle in any porn I’ve ever watched. And I’m not saying that I watch a lot of porn. I’m just saying,... well,... never mind that.

The point is: ouch. Just ouch.

Additional note: while researching this article - because yes, I actually spent some time researching - I discovered that Thesaurus.com has no entries whatsoever for “vagina” or “vaginal.” I’m sure there’s some Women’s Studies topics that could be delved into at great length about just such a glaring omission from a nominally educational website. But f*ck all that. What I’m getting at here is: gentlemen, do not Google search “vagina.” You won’t like the autocomplete.

Tom Belknap, DragonFlyEye.Net

Great blog, baby! Guess what I had done today?

Tags :  
Locations : Johnson CityTennessee
People : Connie SumlinGail JohnsonTom Belknap

09/16/2011 11:02AM
Guest Blogger Friday-Art and Vaginas!
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